


EPISODE FOUR: "Getting Married"

by gaypetersimmonds



Series: Skam Brighton: Season Three [5]
Category: Original Work, SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Gay Character, Canon Trans Character, Episode 4, Gen, M/M, SKAM Season 3, but also!!!!!! love!!!!!!!, catholic confession time babey!, footed ball babey, happy halloween lads let's PINE, tw for full on misgendering and use of a dead name in the last clip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-03 10:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21177869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypetersimmonds/pseuds/gaypetersimmonds
Summary: Jake Love is tired. Tired of pretending that he likes his friends, that he doesn’t like his ex-friends. Tired of pretending that he likes girls. But he's happy enough to sleep through life.That is, until he gets a wake up call from the new guy at school.As they become closer friends, Jake’s worries get higher and higher, and he’s going to do whatever he can not to fall.FIRST CLIP: "Hate The Sin And Love The Sinner"





	1. CLIP ONE: "Hate The Sin And Love The Sinner"

**SATURDAY, 26TH OCTOBER, 11:47**

INT. CHURCH

_“The Show” by Lenka_ plays as we focus on the altar of the church, slowly zooming out to show a row of around five people - including JAKE - sitting beside a beautifully carved confession booth, all waiting. JAKE is clearly bored out of his mind, tapping his fingers silently against the wooden bench.

Several old people are dotted about the church, praying silently, and the candles are lit. JAKE watches them, purely out of boredom, but something’s obviously on his mind, something he still can't talk about.

CHRISTINE walks out of the confession booth and motions for JAKE to go in, JAKE instantly standing up. He squeezes out of the pew and approaches the booth, letting out a breath as soon as CHRISTINE is behind him and going back to her seat.

INT. CONFESSION BOOTH

JAKE walks into the cramped confession booth and kneels down, facing a grate, through which we can vaguely see the outline of FATHER RAINES, looking straight ahead as the song fades out. 

There’s an awkward pause as JAKE quickly blesses himself, trying to remember what he's suppoed to say.

JAKE  
Uh, forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been a month-ish since my last confession.

There’s a brief pause, JAKE waiting to be corrected..

FATHER RAINES  
You may begin.

JAKE waits for a second, biting his lip.

JAKE  
Um… I’ve been drinking recently? Bit more than usual. And, um-- And smoking? Just-- Yeah… 

There’s an uncomfortably long pause, JAKE tapping the too-close walls of the booth nervously.

FATHER RAINES  
Anything else, son?

JAKE  
I… 

JAKE pauses for a moment and then looks up into the grate, ceasing his tapping.

JAKE  
Father?

FATHER RAINES  
Yes?

JAKE  
What… What would you do if you had this friend, this-- This new friend. And he’s really nice and funny and sweet and you really like him. But then he tells you he’s-- He's gay. What would you do then?

There's a pause, JAKE tapping again.

FATHER RAINES  
If the friend is you, you can--

JAKE  
No, no, it-- It's not. It's a real friend, his name is Al--

FATHER RAINES  
Don't say names. This has to be confidential, remember?

JAKE nods, and then remembers FATHER RAINES can’t see him, and scrunches his nose up at himself.

FATHER RAINES  
But, with regards to your "friend", I would say… Love him as you would love your neighbour. Or, indeed, yourself.

JAKE  
But isn't being gay, like, a sin?

FATHER RAINES  
Yes. I believe so, anyway. You can hate the sin and love the sinner. Is he a nice man?

JAKE  
Yes.

FATHER RAINES  
Does he live by the way of the Lord?

JAKE has no idea how to answer this.

JAKE  
…Yes?

FATHER RAINES  
Then God will forgive him for what he has chosen to do in the next life.

JAKE nods again, more for himself this time, taking it in as there’s a pause.

FATHER RAINES  
Is that all?

JAKE  
Yes, Father.

FATHER RAINES faintly sighs as JAKE winces.

FATHER RAINES  
10 Hail Marys.

JAKE  
Yes, Father.

FATHER RAINES  
In the name of the Father--

JAKE begins to bless himself.

FATHER RAINES and JAKE  
The Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen.

JAKE stands up and walks out of the confession booth, the song resuming, like nothing had happened..

INT. CHURCH

JAKE walks back into the church and kneels down beside CHRISTINE, closing his eyes and clasping his hands together, silently mouthing a Hail Mary, as CHRISTINE does the same beside him.

He opens his eyes, closing his mouth, and looks at her. He sighs and shifts about uncomfortably, sitting back up as he pretends to pray. She doesn’t look at him at all. He looks at the candles again, a lot less bored, a lot more in thought. The flames dance, a slither of smoke rising gently. He follows it with his eyes, shifting uncomfortably on the bench. He kneels back down, closing his eyes and beginning to mouth a "Hail Mary", looking a lot more serious about it.


	2. CLIP TWO: "Get Confused"

**MONDAY, 28TH OCTOBER, 15:21**

EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD

The song transitions into _“Pink + White” by Frank Ocean_ as JAKE stands at the goal post, doing kick-ups with a football in slow motion, focused on the task, something easy and attainable. 

He switches to throwing it in the air and catching it, then catching it with one hand. It’s a repetitive task, and suddenly he’s bored, again.

JAKE looks up and sees ALISTAIR walking towards him. JAKE slows down, smiling, letting the ball fall to the ground and holding it in place with his foot as he remains in the goal, letting ALISTAIR come to him.

We return to normal speed, the song stopping, as ALISTAIR jogs a bit over, shivering slightly.

JAKE  
Hey.

ALISTAIR  
I don’t know how you wear shorts in this fucking weather.

JAKE  
Well, sports. Gets you heated up.

ALISTAIR  
Fair point. So, how’s the ball? Getting kicked?

JAKE laughs, both awkward and relieved.

JAKE  
I mean, that’s kind of the point of the game.

ALISTAIR  
Yeah, it’s kind of in the name. Oh shit, that rhymes! Nice!

JAKE smiles at ALISTAIR getting excited.

ALISTAIR  
Anyways, um…

ALISTAIR looks down, suddenly nervous. JAKE follows his gaze to the ball under his foot.

JAKE  
You want a kick?

ALISTAIR  
Uh, sure! Why not? If I can do a high kick, I can kick a ball, right?

JAKE laughs, nodding, as he passes the ball to ALISTAIR, who catches it with his foot and kicks it back a bit, getting in position.

JAKE  
Don’t kick too hard!

ALISTAIR gasps, clutching his heart in mock-offence.

ALISTAIR  
I would never!

ALISTAIR runs back a bit and kicks the ball as hard as he can. JAKE dives for it as it zooms into the net, barely grazing his fingertips as it does.

ALISTAIR laughs, amazed at himself, and punches the air with both fists, JAKE watching him, amused, not even upset at missing the ball.

JAKE  
Proud of yourself?

ALISTAIR  
I haven’t scored a goal since I was eleven! God! I did it!

JAKE  
You did!

ALISTAIR  
Take that, Love! _I_ should be on the team!

JAKE laughs as he gets the ball from the back of the net.

JAKE  
[sarcastic] Oh yeah, you’d fit in so well.

ALISTAIR  
Why should I care about that shit?

JAKE shrugs, laughing, as if he’d never even thought of that before, as he walks over to ALISTAIR.

JAKE  
So, why are you even here? No offence, you’re just-- Well, you’re not exactly a known footie fan.

ALISTAIR laughs.

ALISTAIR  
You actually say footie, that’s so cool. I’ve never heard anyone say it before.

JAKE smiles, shaking his head. He then pauses, waiting for him to answer the first question.

ALISTAIR  
Um, I was wondering what you were doing Friday.

JAKE’s overwhelmed with emotion. ALISTAIR nervously laughs.

ALISTAIR  
Well, Ellie asked me to ask you. 

JAKE deflates, but he’s still managing a smile.

ALISTAIR  
So…?

JAKE  
Oh, um, nothing. 

ALISTAIR  
Good! Um, Ellie’s making me go to this pregame thing with her before some big costume party thing, so… Do you want to come?

JAKE  
[half-joking] With Ellie or with you?

ALISTAIR  
Wh-- Ellie. Why would-- I-- 

ALISTAIR nervously laughs, messing with his coat zipper.

JAKE  
I was joking, Al.

ALISTAIR  
Oh! Sorry. Sometimes I just... get confused.

JAKE  
It’s fine, you’re fine.

ALISTAIR  
Thanks.

ALISTAIR looks over at the door of the school and sees the rest of the team walking towards the field, all in near-identical gear.

ALISTAIR  
I should go. I’ll see you Friday?

JAKE  
Yeah! I’ll text you.

ALISTAIR smiles, waves and quickly walks away, as the team reach the field, TAI and ALISTAIR exchanging greetings. The TEAM put their water bottles down and begin to warm up. BRYAN puts a bag of footballs and jerseys down, looking at JAKE as he watches them, until RORY walks over to him, not bothering to warm up.

RORY  
Hey mate.

JAKE  
Hey.

RORY  
What’s up?

JAKE shrugs, trying to stop looking at ALISTAIR, trying to seem as chill as he can.

JAKE  
You?

RORY  
Eh, nothing much either. You going to Daniel’s on Saturday?

JAKE  
What?

RORY  
It’s his birthday. Eighteenth. We’re all going all out for it.

JAKE nods, not paying attention at all, he’s still watching ALISTAIR leave.

JAKE  
Awesome, I’ll be there.

RORY  
Cool.

BRYAN looks over at them, still stretching.

BRYAN  
Harsgrove! Love! Get warming up!

JAKE salutes sarcastically, making RORY laugh, as they both begin to jog on the spot, JAKE looking down at the ball he and ALISTAIR were using as it rolls away from him.


	3. CLIP THREE: "You Can Choose What You Believe In"

**WEDNESDAY, 30TH OCTOBER, 09:23**

INT. ENGLISH CLASSROOM

JAKE sits next to BRIANNA in awkward silence, as everyone around them gets on with their projects, working on their laptops. JAKE’s laptop sits in front of him, not turned on, as BRIANNA scrolls through her phone, occasionally typing something.

JAKE watches her for a while, but she doesn’t look at him. He wants to talk , but has absolutely no clue what to say.

JAKE  
So, uh… How’s the project coming?

BRIANNA  
Fine. I need you to actually make the powerpoint though.

JAKE turns to her, face scrunched up.

JAKE  
Why?

BRIANNA rolls her eyes, looking up at him.

BRIANNA  
‘Cause I’m doing the actual research, dipshit.

JAKE  
You _ literally _told me I shouldn't do it.

BRIANNA  
That’s not the point.

JAKE  
Jesus, you make no sense.

BRIANNA raises her eyebrows at him and continues to scroll through her phone as JAKE turns on his laptop and opens Powerpoint on it.

JAKE  
Could you email me the research you’ve done?

BRIANNA  
Yeah.

She doesn’t move at all. He looks at her, tired.

JAKE  
Now would be nice. If you can.

BRIANNA  
Well, I don’t have your email address.

JAKE  
It’s jakedavelove@hotmail.co.uk.

BRIANNA laughs.

BRIANNA  
That’s so fucking boring.

BRIANNA begins to type quickly on her phone and JAKE opens his emails, refreshing it until he gets one from BRIANNA.

JAKE  
Thanks.

He opens the research she sent on a Google Doc and begins to read it. It’s long, with flowery paragraphs detailing Rossetti's life and writing style. He glances over the paragraph on her antisemitism, before focusing on the paragraph about her suspected homosexuality and looks at BRIANNA for a moment.

JAKE  
Hey?

BRIANNA  
What? Did it not work?

JAKE  
No, no, I was just-- Just wondering if I could ask you something.

BRIANNA  
Okay? What is it?

JAKE takes a quick deep breath.

JAKE  
What do you think of gay people? Since, you know, you’re Catholic and all.

BRIANNA looks at him for a moment, deadpan.

BRIANNA  
Jack, I’m literally bi.

JAKE  
Yeah, but… What do you think about it?

BRIANNA narrows her eyes at him.

BRIANNA  
Why do you want to know?

He shrugs as she nods, smirking to herself.

BRIANNA  
Well, Jacob, I think gay people are human people who deserve rights. Yes, shocking, I know.

JAKE rolls his eyes goodnaturedly as she laughs.

BRIANNA  
Seriously though… I don’t think being gay is a sin. You can choose what you believe in. Certain parts of the Bible I agree with, and certain parts I don’t. As a Christian, I try to live the way Jesus did. Which means being kind to those around me, no matter what they are. Unless they’re bigoted assholes, in which case, I’ll kill them.

JAKE laughs and nods.

JAKE  
Why do you believe in God, anyway?

BRIANNA  
I just do. The same way I'm just bisexual, the same way I just like Christina Rossetti. It’s just… There. Inside of me. I can’t change it, even if I wanted to.

JAKE nods again.

BRIANNA  
Alright, Q & A over, you should get on with the powerpoint.

JAKE salutes and BRIANNA breathes out a short laugh as she keeps scrolling on her phone.

ENGLISH TEACHER [O.S.]  
Brianna, phone off.

BRIANNA  
I’m doing research on it?

ENGLISH TEACHER [O.S.]  
Off, or I’m taking it off you.

BRIANNA rolls her eyes and starts to put it away.

JAKE  
Miss, that’s not fair.

ENGLISH TEACHER [O.S.]  
Excuse me?

JAKE  
She’s just using the internet on a different device. There’s nothing wrong with that. 

ENGLISH TEACHER [O.S.]  
Well, she should’ve brought her laptop like the rest of you.

JAKE  
What if she can’t afford one? And you’re just embarrassing her in front of everyone for no good reason and ruining her chance at a decent education?

The ENGLISH TEACHER sighs, BRIANNA looking at JAKE, both confused and impressed.

ENGLISH TEACHER [O.S.]  
Carry on.

BRIANNA keeps scrolling on her phone, the Google Doc updating as she does, and JAKE begins to type up the information BRIANNA sent, summarising it briefly and neatly.

He looks at the Doc again, and right where his cursor is, in bright red font, is the word “thanks”. He smiles at BRIANNA, who looks at him briefly, smiling back. They both keep working, in content silence, happy enough.


	4. CLIP FOUR: "Love Can't Live In The Same Place As Hate"

**THURSDAY, 31ST OCTOBER, 16:29**

INT. KITCHEN, JAKE’S HOUSE

_“Paradise By The Dashboard Light” by Meat Loaf_ plays as JAKE walks into the kitchen, earphones in, taking his bag and coat off, shimmying his shoulder, smiling to himself, completely alone and happy about it.

He throws four dog treats out of the back door, the dogs all running to get one, as he laughs and spins back around, taking out a cat treat and putting it into DOG's mouth as she sits on the ground underneath him.

He hops over to the cupboard and takes out some bread, and then going to the fridge and taking some Nutella, beginning to make himself a sandwich as he mouths the lyrics along to the song.

He looks down at his phone, where there’s a message from ALISTAIR saying “happy halloween, jacob! any ideas for your costume? :)”. JAKE smiles at it and finishes making his sandwich quickly, still dancing.

INT. FRONT HALL

JAKE walks down the hall with his sandwich on a plate in one hand, his phone in the other hand as he texts.

He ascends the stairs, sending ALISTAIR: “Eleanor said she got matching costumes for us but I don’t know what they are yet. You?”

INT. LANDING

JAKE takes a bite of his sandwich, walking down the hallway, still looking at his phone as ALISTAIR types. JAKE doesn’t go into his room, though. He goes into the bedroom that’s never used.

INT. THE UNUSED BEDROOM

The song stops abruptly as JAKE opens the door to the unused bedroom, taking his earphones out. He carefully walks over to the bed, placing his plate on the nightstand as he looks above the bed at a photograph.

It shows a younger CHRISTINE and a man who looks like an older version of JAKE - DAVID - standing together in formal clothes, obviously their wedding day. JAKE smiles sadly at it, and then carefully lies down on the bed, kicking his shoes off before he puts his feet up.

He puts the plate on his chest and continues to eat his sandwich, picking his phone back up to see a text from ALISTAIR saying “i’ve been planning my costume for Months, you should be ready to be BLOWN AWAY by my AMAZING planning and sewing skills. by "sewing skills" i mean sewing one (1) button. i'm an amazing gay, i know.”

JAKE laughs and tries to type something, only to end up getting Nutella on his phone screen. He tries to wipe it off, but it just goes everywhere. He sighs and awkwardly types “Can I call u? Phone fucking up.”

ALISTAIR calls JAKE, who immediately answers, putting ALISTAIR on speaker.

JAKE  
Hey!

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
Hi. How’s your phone?

JAKE  
You know, just covered in Nutella.

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
_ What? _

JAKE  
Nutella? The popular chocolate spread?

ALISTAIR laughs, wheezing.

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
[still laughing] It cut out after nut so I thought you just said nut and you were talking to me about your phone being covered in-- You know.

JAKE joins in the laughter, careful to keep his sandwich above his plate.

JAKE  
Ew! No! Not at this time of afternoon!

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
Thank God for that, your poor mother would have to deal with it.

JAKE  
Yeah… So, um, how are you?

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
Good, good, just doing some writing.

JAKE  
Writing what?

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
Just this essay thing on why Jason McConnell’s death was necessary in Bare, because people online don’t get the importance of it and just think it’s Bury Your Gays, but it’s not!

JAKE smiles.

JAKE  
Really? Tell me more.

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
See, he doesn’t die because he’s gay, he died because of everything affecting him, with being outed and the pregnancy and-- Literally, if he didn’t die, the message of Bare wouldn’t be as powerful! It’s like Romeo and Juliet and every good love story ever - love can’t live, or even exist, in the same place as hate!

JAKE nods, smiling.

JAKE  
Wow, yeah. Bare is really good, I-- I watched it. The other night. 

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
Really? Did you love it or did you _love_ it?

JAKE laughs.

JAKE  
I loved it.

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
What was your favourite song?

JAKE  
Uh, probably See Me. Really emotional, you know?

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
God, yeah! When he kept trying to come out to his mum but she wasn't having it… Like, Bare writers, you didn't have to attack me personally, but they did!

JAKE  
Wait, is your mum, like…

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
No! Not exactly. She just-- She needs some time to get used to it. I live with my dad and his wife anyway, so we're all good. My mum lives in London, so I only see her every now and then.

JAKE  
Oh.

ALISTAIR nervously laughs.

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
It’s fine. She takes me to see shows every now and then.

JAKE  
That’s cool. I wish my mum were cool like--

A door opens downstairs and JAKE stiffens, frozen in fear, all of his happiness ripped away from him.

JAKE  
Fuck, speak of the devil, I gotta go.

ALISTAIR [O.S.]  
Oh, bye.

JAKE  
Bye, love you.

JAKE hangs up and then gasps, realising what he’s done. He doesn’t have time to deal with it right now, so he picks up his plate, putting his phone on it and wipes down the bed, making it neat and clean.

CHRISTINE [O.S.]  
I’m home!

He quickly and silently leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

INT. LANDING

JAKE walks calmly across the landing and stands at the top of the stairs, smiling politely down at CHRISTINE, who’s taking her coat off, shopping bags at her feet.

JAKE  
Hey. How was Tesco?

CHRISTINE  
Same old, same old. How’re you?

JAKE  
Good. Just having a snack.

CHRISTINE  
Good, good, I’ll start making dinner.

She picks the bags up and walks away, JAKE standing on the landing, looking down at his plate and phone guiltily.


	5. CLIP FIVE: "Nothing/Everything"

**FRIDAY, 1ST NOVEMBER, 20:02**

_“i’m so tired…” by Lauv and Troye Sivan_ plays over shots of Brighton at night, passing over many partygoers, some still dressed up in Halloween costumes.

INT. LIVING ROOM, ELEANOR’S HOUSE

JAKE sits alone on a sofa, wearing all white and angel wings. ELEANOR - dressed in a red dress and devil horns - sits across from him. The silence is extremely awkward, neither of them wanting to make the first move.

ALISTAIR - dressed in a blue Hawaiian shirt and crucifix necklace, his hair parted in a 90s fashion - walks in, ending the song, holding two cans of beer and a Coke.

ALISTAIR  
Okay, drinks all round.

He hands the beers to ELEANOR and JAKE, wiping his hand on his trousers, and keeps the Coke for himself, sitting down in between them, in another awkward silence.

ELEANOR  
So, um, how’s studying going?

JAKE shrugs.

ALISTAIR  
Um, it-- It hasn’t.

ALISTAIR nervously laughs, JAKE joining in. None of them really want to be here.

JAKE  
I feel that.

ELEANOR  
Ali, you have to study.

ALISTAIR  
[jokingly] I know, Mum, chill.

ELEANOR  
I’m not joking. School’s so important, you have to put effort in.

ALISTAIR  
I thought this was a party.

ALISTAIR continues to drink, as JAKE also drinks.

ELEANOR  
I don’t want to see you throw your life away again, Kelly.

ALISTAIR downs his drink, breathing heavily as he slams the can on the table in front of him, JAKE watching him, concerned.

ALISTAIR  
Get me another drink, Eleanor.

ELEANOR  
I’m not your slave.

ALISTAIR  
I got the last ones.

ELEANOR  
Fine, but you’re an asshole.

ELEANOR gets up and walks out the door ALISTAIR came in. JAKE looks at ALISTAIR, who bounces his leg. 

ALISTAIR  
What time is it?

JAKE gets out his phone and checks.

JAKE  
Eight oh-two.

ALISTAIR  
Nice… Twenty oh-two. 

There’s a pause, JAKE quickly glancing at the door and then back to ALISTAIR. ALISTAIR gets out his phone and types something. JAKE reads the messages ALISTAIR sent him: “wanna get out of here??”. JAKE looks at ALISTAIR and smiles as _“Run Away With Me” by Carly Rae Jepsen_ starts to play.

EXT. STREET

We see some shots of the houses on the street, before ALISTAIR and JAKE run into frame in slow motion, both of them smiling widely as they do, JAKE holding onto his wings tightly so they don't fly off.

JAKE looks over at ALISTAIR and starts to laugh at the absurdity of it all, ALISTAIR joining in, a street lamp shining down on his face, illuminating him angelically as he turns around to run backwards, not looking away from JAKE.

As the chorus hits, they return to normal speed, running so fast downhill, laughing and cheering silently as they do, just two teenage boys on a night out.

EXT. CHURCH

They keep running, the song fading out as ALISTAIR leans against the church gate, breathing heavily.

ALISTAIR  
Wait, wait, I-- I can’t breathe.

JAKE stops, panting a little, and leans against the wall.

JAKE  
Do you need me to phone an ambulance?

ALISTAIR flips him off, still getting his breath back, making JAKE laughs.

ALISTAIR  
Fuck, I need a seat.

He looks at the church and pushes the gate, opening it.

JAKE  
What are you doing?

ALISTAIR starts to walk down the path to the church.

ALISTAIR  
Getting married, what do you think?

JAKE rolls his eyes and looks behind him, seeing nothing. He jogs to catch up with him and they walk into the church.

INT. CHURCH

The church is completely empty, only the candles and moonlight through the stained glasses windows lighting the room. ALISTAIR runs up the aisle and takes a seat in the middle of the front row, breathing heavily as JAKE walks after him, looking around at the familiar church awkwardly. He eventually sits next to him.

ALISTAIR  
This-- This place is really pretty.

JAKE  
I know.

ALISTAIR furrows his brow at him.

JAKE  
This is my church. The-- The one I go to.

ALISTAIR  
Ah. Fun. I mean, good for you, and all.

JAKE  
Thanks?

ALISTAIR  
I was raised Catholic but…

JAKE looks at him and ALISTAIR shrugs.

ALISTAIR  
Just didn’t like it. You?

JAKE  
[lying] No, I-- I don’t like it either. My mum makes me go. Very traditional, she is.

ALISTAIR  
I get that. My dad’s a lot like that, but he stills loves me, so… There’s that.

JAKE  
Yeah… 

JAKE looks around, ALISTAIR just getting his breath back.

JAKE  
It's weird being here at night. It’s like going to school for parents’ night or some shit.

ALISTAIR  
[laughing] Yeah, totally. But-- But we are allowed to be here, right?

JAKE  
Yeah. The church is always open to those who need it.

ALISTAIR  
Good Catholic.

ALISTAIR bumps JAKE’s shoulder with his own, JAKE laughing a little.

JAKE  
I-- I’m really not.

ALISTAIR  
It’s okay, neither am I.

He laughs, JAKE nervously joining in.

JAKE  
What-- What do you believe in, then?

ALISTAIR

I don't know. Fate? Destiny? The universe? Everything being connected?

JAKE  
Really?

ALISTAIR  
You think it’s childish--

JAKE  
I don’t! I think it’s nice.

ALISTAIR smiles, looking down as JAKE smiles at him.

ALISTAIR  
So… Is now where we tell all of our deepest fears and mortal sins?

JAKE  
What?

ALISTAIR  
Aren’t you meant to confess things in a church?

JAKE  
I-- I guess?

ALISTAIR  
Okay. Confession time. Say something. Anything you want. Anything you think you can’t tell anyone. Tell the spiders living in dark corners. Tell the stars behind the stained glass. Tell the souls flickering in the candles. 

JAKE hesitates before speaking, not letting himself say what he wants to say.

JAKE  
What about you?

ALISTAIR shrugs, looking at him expectantly. JAKE nervously laughs.

ALISTAIR  
You-- You don’t have to say anything, I-- I was just joking.

JAKE  
It’s fine, Al. Really. You would keep a secret, right?

ALISTAIR crosses his heart and JAKE nods, taking a deep breath, looking ahead at the altar.

JAKE  
I’m… Nothing. You-- You should know that. If we’re telling the truth before God. I’m… I’m a piece of plain toast. No-- I’m undercooked toast.

ALISTAIR  
You mean bread?

JAKE laughs, a little bitterly.

JAKE  
Yeah, sure, bread. It’s-- It’s just… I’m always trying so hard to be everything everyone wants me to be. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t remember not feeling like this, like I’m not a person. I’m just here to serve other people, like… I’m sorry, you don’t care.

ALISTAIR  
I do! I do care. Jake, it’s-- It’s fine to feel that way. But you have to find a way to be you again too.

JAKE  
I haven’t felt like me except for… 

He trails off, not letting himself look at ALISTAIR.

ALISTAIR  
Except for what?

JAKE  
I-- I don’t know. When I performed in Grease, being someone else, I just… Felt more me than I have in a while.

ALISTAIR  
Yeah. Yeah, I-- I totally get that. It’s pretending, but you don’t have to pretend on a stage.

JAKE  
Yeah. It’s like-- I want to believe in God like my mum does, and I want to believe in logic like my friends do, but… I can’t find it in myself to believe in anything nowadays.

There’s a pause, JAKE laughing a bit to himself, finally letting it out.

JAKE  
I’m gonna die here.

ALISTAIR  
What? Now?

JAKE  
No, no-- Just-- I was born here, I’ll work here, I’ll die here. I’ll marry some girl, I’ll have some kids, I’ll have the happy ever after and that’s it. Nothing else. And-- And that’s what’s gonna happen to all of my friends, but they seem so fine with it, none of them want anything more, but… 

ALISTAIR  
You do.

JAKE nods, chuckling sadly.

JAKE  
I would leave, but… I have to take care of my mum. Ever since my dad died, she’s been needing my help a lot, and… I really thought I had a chance of getting out of here. I-- I had it all planned out. Go to London. Cut off everyone I’ve ever known. Get a degree in something or other, discover what I love, meet someone I love, and just… Yeah.

ALISTAIR  
Finally put the “Love” in “Jake Love”.

JAKE chuckles.

JAKE  
Yeah, exactly. So, um, what about you? What’s your thing?

ALISTAIR  
[laughing] Gay, trans, atheist, social outcast, take your pick.

JAKE looks at him like “seriously” and ALISTAIR sighs.

ALISTAIR  
You really wanna know what goes on in here?

JAKE  
Yes.

ALISTAIR shrugs, thinking for a moment, looking at the altar.

ALISTAIR  
I feel... everything.

There’s a pause.

JAKE  
What do you mean?

ALISTAIR  
It’s-- It’s like, you look at the altar and you see an altar, I look at it and I instantly count the candles, panels on the windows, how many lengths of the candle it would take to measure the altar itself, how each sermon must happen, I-- It never stops. It’s just always happening and I feel like I’m going to explode just by looking at something. And-- And I hear everything, the electric in the air, people talking from a mile away, I can hear the wind all the time, I can-- I can smell the Bibles from here, I can still taste what I had for dinner because it tasted a bit off. I touch something… I don’t just touch. I feel. And when I talk to someone… My brain’s in overdrive trying to find a way to talk to them and get through, and to understand them on more than the surface. I-- I can’t small talk. It’s too passive for my everything brain. And when I feel something, I just feel so much of it that it takes over my entire body. I... I’m just… I’m too much for everyone. And I’m rambling, which I really need to stop doing.

ALISTAIR nervously laughs as he trails off, bouncing his leg harder, the anxiety radiating off him as JAKE watches him, wanting to help. He puts a hand on the pew in front of them.

JAKE  
Al, you’re fine. Honestly. I-- I like hearing you talk. I’ve never met anyone who thinks like you. Well, anyone who’s brave enough to say it.

ALISTAIR smiles at him.

ALISTAIR  
I’m brave?

JAKE  
Look at you! All proud about everything! You’re braver than I could ever be.

ALISTAIR  
Thanks. It’s-- It’s hard being proud something, but… I am. Like-- Like, even when I have people screaming at me that I should be ashamed of feeling good about myself, that the things I do are wrong, but… I can’t change who I am. But I can try and change how they think.

JAKE gathers up his courage.

JAKE

Even Ellie?

ALISTAIR laughs bitterly, leaning forward.

ALISTAIR  
Ellie’s-- Ellie’s different. We’ve known each other since I moved here when I was six. She’s always been there for me, through everything. She just-- She has trouble getting the new name and pronouns and stuff. It’s fine. And-- And if you think she’s rude, that’s just the way she is, there’s-- There’s nothing wrong with it, right?

JAKE exhales, not saying anything.

ALISTAIR  
She cares about me. She loves me like no one else can. Not even my parents, she-- Ellie’s… She’s the only person who understands me. I couldn’t change that if I tried.

JAKE’s face falls, he can’t believe someone so good would say that about himself.

JAKE  
What if someone else wanted to understand you?

ALISTAIR  
No. No one would want that.

JAKE  
Why not?

ALISTAIR shrugs.

ALISTAIR  
I-- I’m just not… I’m not the kind of person people… I don’t know. I’m just… I'm weird, you know? I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in and I don't wanna fit in.

He laughs a little, trying to get JAKE to join him, but he doesn't. JAKE just sighs, and ALISTAIR looks at him, confused.

ALISTAIR  
What is it?

JAKE  
I just… I think you deserve better. You're nice. You're smart. You deserve people who can call you the right name.

ALISTAIR nods, looking down, uncomfortable with all of this. JAKE coughs, changing the subject.

JAKE  
You’ve told me about the movie you wanna make.

ALISTAIR  
Film.

JAKE  
Yeah, sorry, film.

ALISTAIR  
It’s about… I’ll tell you about it later. 

JAKE  
I would love that.

ALISTAIR stands up and climbs over the pew, jumping over to be in front of JAKE, kneeling to face him, bravado all on show.

ALISTAIR  
What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?

JAKE  
What?

ALISTAIR  
Like… I don’t know, skydiving, swimming with dolphins, or breaking into every church in England?

JAKE  
I-- I don’t know. I don’t think about stuff like that.

ALISTAIR  
Well, do you want to do something?

JAKE  
Like what?

ALISTAIR shrugs and walks towards the altar, JAKE smiling and following him.

ALISTAIR  
Have you ever been to a wedding?

JAKE  
A few. Didn’t really like them. Too mushy. You?

ALISTAIR  
One. My aunt’s. Hated it. Probably ‘cause I was six and bored, but you know. [pause] Do you want to get married?

JAKE  
[joking] What, now?

ALISTAIR  
Sure. 

JAKE  
What?

ALISTAIR  
I mean, why not? It would be a fuck you to our parents. To, you know, pretend to get married. Here.

JAKE shakes his head, laughing.

JAKE  
You’re insane, Fletcher.

ALISTAIR  
I-- I was just--

JAKE  
Let’s do it.

They're both shocked speechless for a moment, JAKE not believing he just said that.

ALISTAIR  
Okay. Gimme a sec.

ALISTAIR runs out of the church, through a door close to the altar and JAKE takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. 

He keeps breathing, excited and terrified, and then the smile falls from his face. He looks down at his hands, like he’s in a whole new body. He’s changing, and nothing can stop it.

ALISTAIR runs back in, holding a handful of grass, as JAKE returns to normal.

ALISTAIR  
Got it!

JAKE  
Got what exactly?

ALISTAIR ties several blades of grass together, making a ring, and gives it to JAKE. He makes another and keeps it for himself.

ALISTAIR  
Mother Earth gave us our rings.

JAKE  
Jesus, you’re going all out.

ALISTAIR  
It’s our wedding!

JAKE  
And I get no say in the planning?

ALISTAIR  
No offence, darling, but if you got to choose, we would be getting married at a party in polo shirts and then just drink all night.

JAKE  
And what’s wrong with that, dear?

They both laugh, and ALISTAIR kneels, facing the altar.

JAKE  
What are you doing?

ALISTAIR  
Just come.

JAKE kneels down next to him, both of them facing forward. ALISTAIR throws the spare grass in front of them. There’s a sort of awkward silence that they awkwardly laugh through.

JAKE  
So what do we do?

ALISTAIR  
Um, dearly beloved… Blah blah blah… Anyone object?

He looks around the empty church.

ALISTAIR  
That's a surprise.

JAKE laughs, as ALISTAIR reaches out for his hand, JAKE obliging.

ALISTAIR  
I vow to be your friend as long as you need me. I’ll be there to pick you up, even if you push me down. 

ALISTAIR slides the grass ring onto JAKE’s finger.

JAKE  
Um… I-- I don’t know what to say. I… I promise to be there to listen when you want to talk. I-- I promise to try and make the world a bit less everything for you, because you make it a lot less nothing for me.

JAKE tries to put the grass ring on ALISTAIR’s finger, but it breaks.

JAKE  
Fuck, I--

ALISTAIR  
It’s fine!

ALISTAIR picks up some grass from the ground and makes a new ring.

ALISTAIR  
Try again.

JAKE slides the ring onto ALISTAIR’s finger.

ALISTAIR  
Perfect.

There’s a pause, both of them looking at their hands.

ALISTAIR  
Um, onto the I dos…

There’s another pause, and they burst into laughter.

ALISTAIR  
What the fuck are we doing?

JAKE  
I don’t even know.

ALISTAIR  
I do.

JAKE  
I… I do too.

_“Pink In The Night” by Mitski_ starts to play faintly as they look at each other a bit longer than they should.

ALISTAIR  
This is-- This is the part where we kiss. We-- We can skip it.

JAKE looks down, and briefly over at the confession booth, and then back at ALISTAIR. He's going to be brave.

JAKE  
I don’t want to.

ALISTAIR  
Me neither.

As the music gets slowly louder, JAKE moves a bit closer, almost afraid to touch ALISTAIR. JAKE delicately holds his hand, taking great care with it, as ALISTAIR laughs, shaking his head as he grabs the back of JAKE’s neck with his free hand and kisses him, the music swelling, as JAKE quickly closes his eyes, losing himself in it as the stained glass window illuminates them.

They keep kissing, both of them smiling, occasionally breaking apart to laugh, relieved and joyous and holy. 

The door at the back of the church opens, and they break apart, the music stopping.

WOMAN  
What in heaven’s name are you two doing?!

JAKE looks at ALISTAIR, eyes wide, deer in the headlights.

ALISTAIR  
Run!

_"Run Away With Me"_ resumes, ALISTAIR and JAKE get up with the help of each other, still holding hands as they run out of the church, past the WOMAN, laughing as she stares at him, shaking her head, disgusted.

_ CUT TO END CREDITS AS THE SONG CONTINUES _

_ CUT TO BLACK _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys thanks for reading!!!! i'm going on holiday from the 2nd to the 6th of november, so updates will be a bit slow for w hile!!! <3


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